1. Knock on upstairs neighbor’s door and find out what the hell they drag across the floor every night and every morning.

2. Rewrite letter to father.

3. Visit eye doctor about maddening circles drifting across vision.

4. Ask about twitching left eyelid. (Secondary to floaters.)

5. "Bump into" guy in second floor apartment.

6. Join fishing club.

7. Visit baby niece. Wonder if I’ll ever "be ready."

8. Ask father to take me on fly-fishing trip so he’ll believe it when I say we’ve got things in common.

9. Tell guy in second floor apartment the blonde with the tattoo is no good for him.

10. Work fly-fishing into conversation.

11. If floaters persist, revisit eye doctor.

12. Buy all new CDs.

13. Sell all old CDs.

14. Explain to downstairs neighbors why it’s not OK to play Celine Dion at 8 a.m.

15. Admit I sometimes sing along to "All By Myself."

16. Go surf-casting.

17. Ask father to explain himself.

18. Look compassionate and not follow floaters during explanation.

19. Forgive him. Out loud.

20. Have party for self.

21. Invite guy in second floor apartment.

22. Tell Mom and sister this one’s a keeper.

23. Rock baby niece in chair until she falls asleep.

24. Go to dentist.

25. Go to France.

26. Ask guy in second floor apartment to come to France. If he says no, have sex with multiple Frenchmen while in France.

28. Learn the French word for "protection."

29. Fish the Seine.

30. Send father picture of me holding up French fish.

31. If floaters have not disappeared, forget France and spend money on corrective eye surgery.

32. Send father "This postcard was carried by mules out of the Grand Canyon" postcard.

33. Hike Grand Canyon.

34. Set crab traps in San Francisco Bay.

35. Tell father I love him.

36. If it sounds OK, cross off list.

37. If he says it back, cross off list, regardless of how it sounded.

38. Go deep-sea fishing.

39. Fish from one of those boats where the chair holds your rod and you have to strap yourself in. If this constitutes deep-sea fishing, cross off list (see #38).

40. Take baby niece to meet her grandfather when she’s too young to expect anything from him.